NOTHING CAN BREAK ME
If you're looking for a super cheesy, emotional post about running/life and believing in yourself...you've come to the right place. I just happened to pick up this phrase/mantra/etc. on Thursday during while I was lifting (aka doing arm shit with my 8 lb. dumbbells in my dorm room). I have gotten on a Podcast kick this past month or so, and it has really made my workouts fly by! On this particular day I was listening to the Training and Nutrition Truth podcast and they had a guest on the show who was a motivational speaker/mentor/life coach.
And after listening to 2 hour hours worth of talking, this phrase is what stuck with me the most. Because, thinking back on all of the obstacles I have overcome in my life: losing the weight, dealing with the body shaming/anorexic comments, and getting over my fear of driving, and learning to finally see myself as a "runner"; I know that I am strong enough to get through anything. Any situation. Any obstacle that gets thrown in my path. Nothing (and No one) can break me.
That's the exact advice/motivation I need at this point in my life. I am officially training for my first half marathon, graduating from college, job hunting, and trying to be a better version of myself each day than I was the previous day. Oh, and counting down the days until my best friend graduates basic training in June. I have had countless days during this last semester where I questioned my direction in life. Questioned my abilities as a runner. Heck, even questioned if I was really "good enough" to be somebody's damn girlfriend.
Yet here we are, on the brink of 22 and more than willing to brag about the fact that I will be tackling 13.1 miles in September. Excited about the unknown possibilities that lie in the future. Ready to break free from my comfort zone and do the things that scare me the most. And, most importantly, ready to get right back up after being knocked down. Every Time. That's what got me through those 7 glorious, painful, mentally taxing, and pukey miles yesterday.
I wasn't even 1 lap (aka 2.5ish miles) in before I started to feel overwhelmed, both physically and mentally. Like a damn turtle running through peanut butter. And for a while, the farther I ran, the worse I felt. My hands were freezing despite the fact that I had gloves on, snot was going everywhere, and I just could not get my form right. It wasn't until I got through mile 5 that I felt like I could finally breath and just enjoy the run for what it was: An opportunity to prove to myself that 1. Nothing can break me and 2. I am more than capable of running a half marathon.
And when things got tough, like every time I almost fell or had to climb a super steep hill or had the worst side stitches of my entire life...I just kept reminding myself that I was strong. I wasn't going to stop for ANYTHING. I reminded myself just how much I miss Mak, and how she is going through things that are so much harder than running 7 miles...so I just needed to suck it up, give everything I had, and do it. I left everything I had on the pavement for that hour and four minutes. Everything. Sweat, snot, tears, and thankfully no blood this time.
I can honestly say that those first 5 miles of pain, misery, and self-doubt were completely worth it...because those last 2 miles were absolute bliss. I was smiling my face off and singing along to every song on my playlist...because how can you not when every song is by the one and only Demi Lovato. And the best part was when I had completed my run and got to see my time/pace/splits. I ran way, way too fast those first several miles...no surprise there. But, my average pace was 9:16...which is pretty dang god considering I haven't ran that far since 2017.
I'll leave you with one piece of advice. It's some of the best advice I've ever gotten and actually just got last night. Don't be afraid of someone telling you 'No'. It sounds simple, but it really hit me that that is what has been holding me back in so many different areas of my life.