AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER // 5, 6, AND 3 MILE RUNS
13 emotional miles have come and gone since my last post.
So, let’s rewind and see exactly where things went wrong…not that will really change anything. Wednesday: 5 miles. This was honestly the last “good” run I had this week. My mile splits were right where the needed to be considering the distance and the wind. I had zero pain and wasn’t even all that sore from Tuesday’s leg workout. There really wasn’t one moment where I didn’t enjoy the run. Then, a few hours post run, I found out that I didn’t have any computer work to do for the day. That news, in turn, lead to impromptu trip to get new jeans.
Still all of these years later post weight loss, shopping for clothes (specifically jeans) can be a trying process emotionally. For this reason, I haven’t actually gone to try on and buy several pairs of jeans that actually fit good since high school. Yup, and that was definitely a day or two ago. I didn’t expect it to be this super stressful thing, given I sorta knew the size range of jeans that I needed to try on. And, overall, the experience wasn’t traumatic or emotionally riddled in any way.
Or, so I thought. I amazingly ended up liking 3 or the 5 pairs of jeans that I took back to the fitting room. This is such a huge deal for me, given that I have never been a huge fan of jeans and also struggle with body image issues and have lose skin to contend with. On top of liking how the jeans looked/fit, the fact that I had to size up from the size 7 jeans I wore in high school to jeans size 8-10 didn’t even feel like a big deal at the time. For me, I know that my legs are the strongest part of my body, and that I train them super hard during my biweekly leg days. So, it only makes since physiologically that I would need to go up a few jean sizes.
How the rest of that day went is ended up completely screwing up Thursday’s 6 mile run BIG TIME.
For starters, I did end up spending a decent amount of time on Wednesday sitting in the car without doing any additional stretching after returning home. But, that wasn’t the main culprit behind yesterday’s disaster of a 6 mile run. Upon returning home, some 3 1/2 hours later, I had to obviously go through the process of getting rid of the 5 pairs of rarely worn, too small jeans that I had in my closet. I don’t know if this or the actual jean shopping experience triggered me, but somewhere in the back of my mind I wasn’t okay with no longer being able to wear my old jeans.
I wasn’t even aware of it, until the next morning when I calculated exactly how big of a calorie deficit I had been in on Wednesday. Since I’m trying to lean out while also increasing my strength, I typically aim for a calorie deficit of 300-500 calories. I was at a deficit of 1,100+ calories on Wednesday. This did not feel or seem intentional at all on my part. I honestly just didn’t have as big of an appetite as I normally do, despite all the extra steps I got in that day shopping. And, that, is where the shitty 6 mile run comes in.
Yeah it was cold out yesterday, but not cold enough to lead to a run as slow as this one. I had one decently fast mile time of 9:30 at mile 1…and from there everything went down hill. Physically and mentally I felt fine (until the halfway point anyway). I never once felt like I was running as slow as I actually ended up running. I had gotten plenty of sleep the night before, just not nearly enough calories. Even when I started having hip issues just past the 3 mile mark, I remained positive and continue to push forward, giving everything I had to those last several miles.
The worst part of the entire situation, was the post run pain and disappointment.
Seeing all of those 9:50-10:00+ mile splits just completely and utterly broke my spirit. It just did not make sense to me. I worked and pushed every step of the way. I was even drenched in sweat, despite the super chilly weather conditions. This was literally the slowest 6 miler I have ran post pelvic injury. To make matters worse, my pelvis immediately started burning up with pain the minute I stepped foot on the treadmill to do my 30 minutes of incline walking. The whole time I walked, it hurt and burned and of course left me feeling like an emotional mess.
All day post gym, I dealt with pelvic pain. I’m talking, the type of pain where it hurts just to get up from sitting down too long or to lift your leg off the floor to change from sweat pants to shorts. I’ll be the first person to admit, that I don’t have the highest pain tolerance in the world…but this kind of pain is not normal or easy to deal with. I finally had to break down and take some Tylenol, which I haven’t done since the end of August when I first got “serious” about recovering/rehabbing from this injury.
When I woke up this morning to tackle 3 miles, the pain was gone.
Like, it had vanished out of thin air or something. I was, of course, ecstatic. I only had to do 3 miles today, so I was really banking on making the most of those miles…especially since I am going on a short trip tomorrow and taking the whole weekend of from gyming and running. Unfortunately, the weather and icy sidewalks/streets had other plans. There were no issues this morning other than slipping, sliding, and trying not to fall flat on my face a dozen or so times. There was no way that I could have ran anywhere close to my normal 3 mile time of 27 minutes and change. Unless, I ran only in the grass which is pretty impossible given my route.
Today, seeing my splits post run had me feeling an entirely different way. Grateful. Grateful that I had been able to run the entire 3 miles without falling or any pelvic/hip pain. Grateful that my time wasn’t completely terrible, and only a solid 1.5-2 minutes slower than normal. Grateful, that I now have an entire weekend to rest my messed up lower body.
I obviously have some concerns about this whole riding on a bus thing form 10 ish hours and then spending 8 hours at a mall.
The mall thing should not be too much of an issue, since it’s just walking. The bus, however, will be a completely different thing. I really don’t know what will happen. Maybe everything will be just fine. Or, maybe both my left hip and pelvis will flare up and the whole day will be miserable/I’ll have to spend the entire allotted shopping time at the bar (because malls now have bars in them in Illinois I guess and I am all bout it). All of this is too be determined I guess. No matter what happens, I know it will make from some great memories and an even better blog post.