HEATING UP // FIVE MILE FRIDAY
You never know quite what to expect when you take off on a run during a heat advisory in Iowa.
Will you be blinded by sweat? Or the sun? Will the heat be "too much" and cause you to cut your run short? Or, will you trudge through the heat at a sluggish 10 minute mile pace? My only game plan this morning, was to try for 5 miles. No goal pace or energy gel stops. Although, on a day like today...I really could have used that quick stop at the 4 mile mark.
I can say with absolute certainty that I am now back to 100% runningwise...zero pelvic issues and I ran the fastest I have ran all week. DESPITE THE FUDGING HEAT AND PEOPLE WHO APPARENTLY THINK RUNNING A SPORTS BRA IS A. A BAD THING OR B. AN OPEN INVITATION TO STOP IN TRAFFIC AND HARDCORE STARE AT YOU. Yup. That's what went down on yesterday's 6.62 mile run. And it definitely upset me & scared the hell out of me.
I mean, it's fucking 2018 and hot as all get out lately in the great state of Iowa. Running in a sports bra at 5:30-6:30ish should not be an issue. Yet, here I am. Still recalling just how it feels to once again realize that the body image issues I have struggled to overcome for so many years are still very much a REAL ISSUE. What's more, apparently there are still people out there who think it's okay to judge people for not fitting the idealized image of what it means to be "fit"/"healthy"/"a runner".
Well, jokes on them...CAUSE I RUN BETTER/FASTER/HARDER WHEN I'M PISSED OFF.
And that's exactly what I did this morning. From the very first block, I knew it was going to be a huge mental struggle today. The shorts I had decided to wear didn't have a drawstring to keep them (and my loose skin) in place. Like, the shorts stayed up just fine, just now where I wanted them too and that meant my loose skin obviously didn't stay in place either. It did bother me for a good bit of lap 1. I had convinced myself that everyone was staring at me because of this, and wondering how I still wasn't skinny with all this running that I do.
Luckily, by the end of lap 1 (2.5 miles in) I was no longer concerned with this issue. I was just striving to put one foot in front of the other...and being mindful of how my body was reacting to this very hot + humid run.
My first 4 miles were essentially perfect. My first mile was 9:39...and from there things only got faster. Just the mere thought of the dude who made a comment to my mom about me running in a sports bra had me fired up. Literally. Mile 2 was a 9:13 and mile 3 was a decently fast 9:21. I just kept telling myself to keep pushing. Keep believing in myself and everything I know my body is capable of...despite the fact that I don't have the "perfect body."
Funny thing is, when I saw someone I knew out walking just past the 4 mile mark...I suddenly couldn't fathom passing them on the sidewalk whilst running in my sports bra. Or, running up that long ass stretch of sidewalk on the four lane with all the cars driving by. Maybe silently judging me. Maybe not even noticing me. Either way, I opted to take the back roads/streets to the second rail road crossing. AKA the crossing that I learned to hate when the other one was closed CAUSE HELLO DOUBLY STEEP MINI HILLS.
Like normal, I felt like a thousand year old turtle climbing that hill. That was my one mile that was slow, at 10:02. By that point, I was so thankful that I only had like another half mile or so to go to get back to the gym. I had pushed past so many mental barriers/limits during those first 4 miles. I just needed to be done, to see my splits laid out in front of me. To see, just how hard I had fought through the pain/sweat/anxiety.
5.24 miles @ an average pace of 9:34 per mile. Definitely a whole heck of a lot faster than I thought I had ran. By the end, before I had even gotten to looking at my splits...I found myself breathing extra heavy as I wandered around the gym parking lot. Trying to figure out how I had gotten through that run without having to stop. Without crying/breaking down a least a dozen times. Or, without freaking out when I though I saw the guy that I sorta "dated" for a hot minute at the very start of lap 1.
Because, as Carrie Underwood puts it, "You can't cry pretty." Thankfully, this run was tear free. Although, there were some close calls.