LOVING THE SKIN THAT YOU'RE IN
Let's face it, having two good body image days in a row doesn't happen often.
What's even more rare, is to have one of those days happen on a rest day when you're eating in a caloric surplus. And, honestly, it feels good. Better than good...great actually. Sometimes, all it takes is spending 5 minutes looking in the mirror and seeing all the progress you've made. Looking for the bigger biceps, rounder shoulders, and more defined back muscles instead of being hyper aware of the stretch marks and loose skin. Oh, and the fact that you by no means fit the typical "fitness" look.
And it's not even about lifting x amount of pounds or nailing new PRs every week either.
Although, I obviously think it's a good idea to go into the gym with a plan in mind. For me, especially during today's leg workout, it was all about just enjoying the workout. Not being afraid to look in the mirror to make sure my form was somewhat decent during goblet squats. Taking longer rest periods in between sets to actually rest and chat. This was the first heavy leg day in like forever that I a. didn't listen to any music at all and b. wasn't focusing on maxing out on any of the exercises.
Sure, I still don't love to look at myself in the mirror mid workout. Or hitting the gym when there's more than 1 or 2 other people there.
But, it was nice for a change, to not be super worried about how I looked or whether other people there were judging me as I worked out in a tank top and shorts. Which, is definitely a new, foreign thing for me. Because, we've all had that one horrifc gym/workout experience where someone else felt the need to make us feel somehow out of place because we weren't as fit/in shape as them. And, it's moments like those that stick wit you for the rest of your life. That are always there in the back of your mind...and seem to surface back to the forefront of your memory on you're toughest days.
It really all comes down to one thing: perspective.
Being able to see yourself the way everyone else sees you. And not just anyone, but you're biggest supporters. Your friends and family who have been there every step up the way during your fitness journey; and loved you no matter what you weight or how good of shape you were in. Heck, I know for sure that I am in 1,000% better shape now than I was this time last summer, even with my injury, eating 3,000-3,500 calories a day, and drinking 1-2 nights a week. If that's not perspective, I don't know what is.
Not running since Friday has definitely reduced my pelvic pain quite a bit. And, I was even able to get in 1.92 miles in just 30 minutes of walking outside today. Which, is pretty darn fast!!! My first mile was done in 15:30, and that's with climbing a pretty steep hill and a mini hill as well. I am proud to say that I didn't feel one bit guilty about being outside walking instead of running or worried about what people who normally see/expect me to be running might think. Because, let's be real, 99% of those people aren't runners and they have zero clue as to what it's like for me (both physically and mentally) to be going through this injury shit 3 months into half marathon training.
It's definitely not easy.
Taking time off. Developing a healthy relationship with food. Loving yourself/your body...while at the same time wanting to get better/faster/stronger. Not comparing yourself and your progress to pretty much every other person in the fitness world. However, all the hard work. All the sweat, tears, and calculating of calories to be in just enough of a caloric deficit to loose fat but not muscle...it's worth it if it means that everyday has the potential to be like yesterday and today. Where, by some magical means, I'm able to not hate what I see in the mirror. And instead, be proud of how far I've come, and my continued dedication despite the obstacles that I have encountered so far in 2018.
A parting piece of advice.
You are doing just fine. You will get to that end goal eventually. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are more than a number on a scale. More than a jean size. And, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.