THAT WAS FUN...FOR LIKE A MINUTE
It's no secret that first week back to treadmill running (can you say YUCK), after several fun-filled/crazy outdoor runs, is TOUGH. Both mentally and physically. There's no epic downhills or struggle bus filled uphills. Or cute dogs. Or pretending that there are all these obstacles along the way and oh yeah having no fucking clue what mile you are on or how slow/fast you're going. That brings us to today's run. ABSOLUTELY AWFUL. The worst. Zero fun was had.
Which sucks. Majorly. Especially when yesterday's 3 miler went so well and my legs felt SO GOOD. And then, BOOM. Legs feel like motherfreaking bricks and I'm wanting to quit before mile 1 is even done. Attitude wasn't even the issue this morning, I was super pumped to run long and slow today; and I even got a good night's sleep last night. Clearly, my legs are just not loving the treadmill right now. OR EVER FOR THAT MATTER.
So, why did I not just quit at miles 1 or 2 or 3 when I was so over running? Well I told myself that since today was a long run day the least I was going to settle for was 4. Even if I had to fudging shuffle my way there. 4. Miles. Would. GET. DONE. I'm still not satisfied with how I ran today, both speed and distance. However, I really can't complain about how I did mentally getting through the pain and doubt. If this had happened 6 months ago, I absolutely would have quit at the 1 or 2 mile mark. So, I can't really be made about it...but I can't deny that I was a little disappointed.
One thing that has really helped me get through my fast runs (which have been 3 miles and starting out the speed at 6.2 and increasing the speed at regular intervals) is to say this in my head: "If you can't do this for you, do it for Mak (or anyone else in my life that I know believes in me and my running abilities)." Because running fast is so DAMN HARD. And it is way too easy to slack and just say oh well at least I showed up, that should count for something right. And then proceed to half-ass thing and put in 50% effort. I've been there. I cannot even tell you how many mornings this week I have woken up to my alarm blaring on my phone and wanting so desperately to roll back over and fall asleep.
But.........WE'VE GOT FREAKING GOALS TO CRUSH!!!! And I ain't about that whole running/working out in a crowded ass gym (except if it's total body fitness because like I sort of know those people so it's not a big deal). And this is the exact mindset I need to stay in, cause for some random reason I woke up with a soreish throat today and it's still sticking around. I am already on those over the counter drugs...but I don't have the night time ones so who know what will happen. Regardless, the workout will get done and...THE DREAMS WILL PROBABLY GET CRAZIER.
Oh yeah, last night was that night where I had dream after dream and then I woke up this morning and had to jot down a few notes about them before I headed down to the dungeon...aka the gym I love to hate but have learned to tolerate in my almost two years of living on this side of the river (I do not know my directions...so the side that the hospital is on!) And let's just say, IT WAS AWKWARD AND NOT ALL THAT FUN.
I do not know what order these events happened in, and for all I know they were all the same dream and not 3 separate ones. Anyway, I guess me complaining about not having running centered dreams and missing my best friend must have like set something off in my brain...because both of those things happened. Just not exactly how I would have liked them to.
For starters, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND RUNS IN SLIDEY SHOES?! You know the kind, (and slidey is probably not the correct name but whatever) they fall off super easy, not made for even fast walking let alone running, and almost guaranteed to have you tripping over your feet and/or messing up your ankles. Yup. Smooth move Caitlyn, real smooth. Not only, was I running in said clearly not appropriate shoes...I was off my normal route, and RUNNING IN FRACKING DAY LIGHT. Um, EXCUSE ME, but I ain't about that life. Give me all the scariness of running in the dark any day!
I was running on the golf course road which is pretty much the worst road to run on because like it would be super easy to just like run off the side of the road and fall into the deep ditches and oh yeah THAT ROAD GOES ON AND ON FOR approximately 75 years and then you get to go up some super steep hills. NO THANK YOU. On top of that...if it's daylight out people might be golfing...and they might actually see you out running, ew that would be a disaster. BUT...THINGS GET WORSE.
Remember, this is a dream so obviously I'm not this stupid in real life...but for some reason I decided to take a shortcut (again training for a half-marathon you would think you'd want to run all the miles and shortcuts would be pointless) through somebody's house. Yeah, not my brightest idea. However, at this point in my run I had just gotten to the top of a hill and was probably all kinds of delirious. So, cut me some slack..alright?
And here I am trying to run quietly through some strangers house and I make it outside without anyone noticing me but then like all of a sudden there is straw and shit everywhere and a baby calf (that I thought was a dog initially and who knows maybe it was) and these two people are just like staring at me so of course I had to pause my Garmin and actually socialize and I was freaking out on the inside. Big Time.
Then, in the next dream (because the above was not fucked up enough apparently!) it was the fourth of July and for some reason that also happened to be the day Mak was getting back from Missouri. This makes zero sense cause she graduates in June, but anyhow, that is what was happening. LIKE I LEGIT SAW HER IN HER ARMY UNIFORM AND FELT SO DAMN REAL!!
But, and I have no idea why, I couldn't talk to her because she was too busy and getting pictures taken with her family. I was really upset, but still somewhat happy (I think?) that I at least got to see her and hadn't forgotten what she looked like. Next thing I knew, I was at the gym working out and I saw her car pull into the parking lot. And she drove by the front window and then she was gone. And I was just standing in the gym super confused. BECAUSE LIKE WHAT LAST THING I KNEW YOU WERE TAKING FAMILY PICTURES.
During that same dream there was also this super awkward moment where I got left in charge of taking care of this really drunk person (no point naming names because what would be the fun in that). Which, a. I have never had to deal with and b. I'm not even sure the other person driving us where the bleep ever was even sober cause they were acting super sketchy.
And that is how my night went last night. I mean I could probably spend hours typing all about how certain parts of the dream actually make sense and then the rest is probably just a sign that I have been watching New Girl way too damn much lately. But, all I really have to say is this: I take back saying that I wanted running centered dreams. It was too much craziness and like I had zero control and I am sorta a control freak so that was difficult to handle.
Week 4 of half-marathon training recap coming on Monday!! So far I am at, 19 miles...so hopefully we can crank out 6 easy miles on Sunday to end at an even 25!