I got the title for this post from the latest issue of Runners World magazine. And it seemed fitting, considering how today's run went and that I turned 22 today. I am a pefectionist, (especially when it comes to my training) and I have no problem admitting that that fact is one of my biggest weaknesses. So, naturally when I completed my nine mile run this morning I found myself wanting to get mad/be disappointed about the fact that I didn't run fast enough. That when I ran 9 miles way back in December (on a different route, with less hills) I had done so 3 minutes faster than today's run.
Yup, here I was on my birthday putting myself down for not doing good enough or trying hard enough during a FREAKING NINE MILE RUN. I didn't even think about the fact that I could just of easily have messed up my hips again during my previous two outdoor runs and be forced to go to the chiropractor and again take time away from the thing that I love the most. Or, that I haven't done a whole lot of outdoor runs/super long runs in 2018. In that moment, all I could focus on was the number on my Garmin Forerunner.
Now that I've had some time to reflect, I realized just how fucking proud I should be of the fact that I ran 9 miles. With a shit load of hills and a nasty wind...with zero hip pain as well. My pacing was much better than yesterday's 8 miler...and the run overall just felt better. i actually remembered to focus on using my arms when my legs were getting tired and on running tall with my head held high. I was zoned in on my running the entire time, and only glanced at my watch twice during the 1 hour and 28 minutes that I was out running. And most importantly, I HAD AN ABSOLUTE BLAST.
By mile 6, I knew that I was going to make it to 9 miles. Like, there was zero doubt in my mind, come hell or high water, 9 miles were getting run today. And whenever I felt tired or like I just could not drag my butt up one more hill, all I had to do was pretend I was running with my best friend. And think back to the letter she wrote me about chasing goals and how much I inspire/motivate her. And before I knew it the hills were over and I had freaking demolished them!
Heck, I was even tempted to do more towards the end...I felt that good/strong/bad ass. However, I am not sure that my body would have been super happy about that. You see, the more learn about running, the more I have come to discover that just because you mind wants to do something (run x miles at y pace) doesn't mean your body is ready or even able to. And the last thing I want to do is push too hard too soon and end up sidelined again.
I'm know that not every run is going to feel as good and go as smoothly as this one did...so you better believe that I savored every snot filled, sweat in my eyes moment of it. Even despite the fact that I was running without my glasses on and terrified of falling on my ass because I couldn't really see the dangerous spots on the sidewalk/road. I cannot wait to see what year 22 had in store for me. Bring on the challenges. The obstacles. And all of the feels. Because I'm ready for it all. I'm coming for ya 13.1...and I'm gonna fight like hell til I get to the finish line.