BROUGHT TO YOU BY BEER
So, it's been a hot minute since I've put up a blog post.
Thankfully, both today's and yesterday's runs have provided me with more than enough high quality content. LIKE A LOT. For starters, the thoughts that run through my mind and the places my mind goes mid run. Everywhere. And sometimes no where. But, usually it all revolves around either telling myself that I can run x distance at y pace...or trying to explain to myself for the umpteenth time why I run. Why I put myself through all the physical and mental pain of chasing this whole half-marathon goal. And, once in a great while, pondering the possibility of actually training for and running a full marathon.
Then, there's mornings like this morning. At the 3 mile mark of an 8 mile run, and trying to figure out what the heck direction I want to take this blog post I'm typing right now. A part of me definitely wanted to tackle the whole "its 2018 and body shaming people is NOT okay" issue. Which, would make for a good post, but it would also probably end up being mostly negative too. And without even going there, I can already see people rolling their eyes. Saying that if you don't want to be body shamed/judged then maybe you shouldn't run in a sports bra. Maybe you should take fitness more seriously. It's probably all in YOUR head.
Hence, the title "Brought to you By Beer." Because, what's more controversial than someone who is super into running/working out...but also likes to drink.
And, at least in my eyes, it should be that controversial. Obviously, if professional athletes can drink and still be successful...so can "regular" people like myself. Besides the fact that life is way too short to not enjoy a few (or a lot) of drinks a few days a week while still being in a caloric deficit. Bottom line, if you can't be flexible with fitness....you're doing it wrong. It's not going to be sustainable in the long term, you're going to get burnt out, and (most importantly in my opinion) you're going to miss out on so many social events/situations.
I admit that I drank a few too many beers yesterday, slept like crap last night, and really DID NOT want to get out of bed when my alarm went off at 4:15 a.m. today. Nor did I really feel ready to run 8 miles. THAT'S LIKE A LOT OF MILES TO RUN WHEN YOU'VE HAD LIKE ZERO SLEEP. But, at the same time, I knew that I had to get the miles in. 'Cause, apparently it's somehow magically only 8ish weeks til I run 13.1 miles...AND MY ANXIETY IS THROUGH THE ROOF.
And you know what, today's 8 miler is the fastest 8 miles I have ran since April!!! I had an absolute blast, despite the fact that it's 2018...and people still don't get that when you lose weight YOU HAVE LOOSE SKIN + STRETCH MARKS AFTERWARDS. And no one should have to be ashamed of that!!! Yet, here I was at the 4 mile mark just taking off again after stopping for a gel break feeling totally and completely ashamed of the fact that I don't have the "perfect" runners body. Even though I was having arguably the best long run I have had in several weeks (maybe even a month!!)...all I could focus on was the way someone choose to hardcore stare at me as I ran down the sidewalk in my sports bra. It felt like they were silently saying, "How dare you run in a sports bra when you aren't skinny and don't have a 6 pack...oh and don't run THAT fast."
Then, I had to take the time to remind myself I'M TRAINING FOR A FUCKING HALF-MARATHON.
That takes strength/courage/guts etc. I am running 35-40 miles a week on a regular basis and making improvements each week. No one can take that away from me. No amount of silent judgments or rude comments can negate all the hard work I have put in over the years to get to where I am today with my fitness and running. Not one of those people could even begin to fathom how hard I've struggled in the past or how hard I struggle everyday just to like the skin that I'm in. To not beat myself up after every not so great run or tell myself I'm just not putting enough effort into my training.
I ran 8 miles at a 9:42 pace today. Yesterday, I ran 5.22 miles at 9:34 pace. I am slowly but surely coming back even stronger from my pelvic injury. And, yes I am absolutely giving like 90% of the credit for today's performance to all those extra bush lights I drank yesterday. Even though, most people find that laughable. Stupid. As unathletic as it gets. I don't really care, because there is not right or wrong way to do fitness. To train for as big of an event as a half-marathon. Heck, I don't even know how/when to taper.