Running. Lifting.Blogging. and LiviNG lIFE IN THE hAWKEYE sTATE!!!

My Addiction

My Addiction

    Running. Running long distances. Like 6+ miles. It still feel weird to even think of myself as a "runner" or someone how voluntarily puts them self through the misery of a long run for run. But here we are. I am literally the happiest person on earth when I'm running outside and jamming to whatever music is currently blaring from my Ipod. Like take out the hills, and I would run all day/night. So far the farthest I have been able to go is 8 miles...definitely need to work on getting to 9 or 10 ASAP, however, since I only have one more weekend in BP before thanksgiving break, things are gonna be tough. Great. I look forward to it. Embracing the pain is the only thing getting my through these long runs, well that and seeing random people that I know. And Channing Tatum at the finish line with puppies.

    Today's 6.5 mile run was probably one of the best runs I've had in awhile. I seriously felt like an addict during this run. I was constantly wanting to push the pace and at the end I was so mad that I was only able to go that far this morning. Even though I ran 8 miles yesterday, I felt like I was ready to and NEEDED to go 8 again. It's hard to quite but into word that feeling. I felt like I could run forever, and stopping seemed like it would be so much more painful than continuing on through the pain. I wasn't self-conscious for once, I was completely zoned in and loving every minute of the run. Even when I nearly twisted my ankle, and almost fell on my face multiple times. Even when I felt like I was crawling through quick sand up some of the hills. It was totally and completely worth all the sucky parts, just to get that high during the good parts and at the end. Heck it was even worth having people stare at me while I ran by with my music blaring.

    So, yes I would consider myself a running addict. I have gotten to the point where running any less than 6 miles feels insufficient. It's just not enough to get that "high." I crave long runs on my rest/short run days. And I'm actually dreaming about running through BP, and being chased by dogs of course. I swear I couldn't have a normal dream even if I tried right now. I definitely feel that hitting Pr's, both distance and time, are what is helping to fuel this addiction. I am a very competitive person, especially when it comes to competing against myself. I am that crazy person who is constantly yelling at themselves in their head while running to "fix your %^&*ing form" or "focus on the mile your in" or "pick up the damn pace". And I can guarantee you that at least two of these three things will/did happen today when I saw someone I knew out of the corner of my eye, and really, really, REALLY did not want them to see me running like a crazy person.

    Oh and in case you didn't know, I AM AT THAT ADDICTION LEVEL WHERE I AM SERIOUSLY TRAINING FOR A HALF-MARATHON...13.1 FREAKING MILES! AHHHHHHHHHH. So, yeah I guess you could say I'm proud to be a running addict, who is slightly less proud of the mid-run faces she makes and definitely ashamed of the amount of f-bombs that are dropped when in pain/driving the struggle bus. So, if you are up to speed on this blog (and let's be honest, no one reads these blogs...so let's just assume you aren't), you would be applauding how much progress I am making on Goal Number One. Ya girl is rocking it!! Spending lot's of time foam rolling, icing, stretching, and fixing my form. Like there's a good chance this goal might actually get accomplished! And there's also a slight (like .001%) chance I may one day want to/actually train for a full marathon. YAY FOR RUNNING ALL THE MILES and thinking I'll actually get all of my problems solved during those miles....it doesn't happen.

    So, about Goal 2/The stupid/dumb/impossible goal. I don't know what I'm doing, at all. Like all I now how to do is put my foot in my mouth over and over again. Or be awkward and avoid eye contact at all costs. Clearly I could use some help/advise from someone, (or lets be honest, anyone at this point, literally anyone) who actually knows a thing or two about how to handle this type of situation. Cause this girl is struggling, hard. Or is just too scared to say what's on her mind. Personally, I feel like the very idea of tackling this goal is so scary because I am that dumb person who decides to like someone who is a 10, when I know damn well I am maybe a 2...on a good day. I am terrible at math, but even I know that the odds of that scenario going anywhere, are almost statistically impossible. Yet here we are, in a pickle. Still trying to figure out if the guy even has the slightest idea that I may sorta, kinda, possibly, be into him. Ahhhhhhhh words are hard. This is exactly why we are going no where fast. Because there just isn't a non awkward way to bring that up in conversation. Nope. Impossible. Getting no where fast, and can't say that I'm surprised.

    Well now that y'all are caught up on my goals and how much progress I am/I am not clearly making. I guess this post has come to an end. Tomorrow's leg day, so that's a plus. Maybe absolutely destroying my legs will give me the confidence boost I need for goal 2...lol. We'll see. But probably not.

Next time on  Long Runs & Messy Buns: 😢✌💬💨
Sucky Pacing and Terrible Form

Sucky Pacing and Terrible Form

Giving Yourself Permission//A Work in Progess

Giving Yourself Permission//A Work in Progess