Running. Lifting.Blogging. and LiviNG lIFE IN THE hAWKEYE sTATE!!!

Late night Thoughts

Late night Thoughts

   Why is it that between the hours of 8 and 11 p.m. my brain suddenly decides it's time to think about every single possible thing there is to think about.  Late night thoughts can really make a person question every decision they have ever made in life and every thing they believed to be the truth.  So, from now on I solemnly swear to keep a notebook and pencil by my bed for emergencies such as this.  I hate not being able to sleep at night because my mind is racing at a thousand miles an hour.  Who am I and what do I want to accomplish in life?  Does any one back home really miss seeing me on a daily basis?  Did I run hard enough/work hard enough during that workout?  Shouldn't I be doing something productive/school related. 
    And this goes on and on and on for what feels like an eternity.  I worry, I stress, I analyze every little detail of my life.  It's ridiculous.  For once in my life I just want to be happy and feel like I belong somewhere.  I want to feel like I am going in the right direction and that I have people there to support me along the way.  I want to have friends that I can vent to at a moment's notice and not have to worry about them judging me.  I want the scale to be my friend, not my enemy.  And dammit I want to feel beautiful in my own skin. 
    Okay, Okay, rant over.  I am currently bored out of my mind with nothing to do for the next hour or so before bed.  And the only thing I want right now is to talk to my mom. Even though I called her today already and yesterday as well. On a positive note, my daddy is coming down for lunch on Tuesday, so I will have to think of something for us to do besides talk and eat.  Damn, all this alone time is making me wanna just break down.  I may be taking a pill before bedtime, I don't need a sleepless night heading into a grueling four class Monday.  I wish it was spring break already, I just want to sleep in my own bed, run outside, and go fishin. 
Long Time, No Post(s)

Long Time, No Post(s)

Homesick and Friendless

Homesick and Friendless