Running. Lifting.Blogging. and LiviNG lIFE IN THE hAWKEYE sTATE!!!

First Post as a College Freshie!

First Post as a College Freshie!

    WOW! I feel like I haven't posted anything in forever. A lot has obviously changed since my last post. I have survived a full 3 weeks of college, barely. And so far my weight loss has continues, at a slower than turtle speed! Honestly, I feel like if I start blogging again I will be less stressed out about this whole college thing and just life in general! And the good thing is no one I know even realizes that I have this blog! I know some of my friends on Facebook post links to their blog, not this chick!! That just opens the door for anyone and everyone to judge my feelings, issues, and or opinions. And ain't nobody got time for that stupid shit!

    I have had a lot of issue since I've moved into my dorm here at the University of Iowa. The first couple days were extremely lonely and hot. I haven't been getting along very well with my roommate at all, and I miss my parents like crazy! I have had a lot of ups and downs in my weight loss. One day I'm down to 136 and the next thing I know I'm back up to 140. One thing I have come to realize is that good nutrition is the key to losing weight. Due to a calf injury I took two days in a row off from running, ate healthy, and lost a pound. So, in the end, I hope that I'll be able to get down to 125. My original timeline was to hit this goal by Christmas, but now I'm thinking Thanksgiving may be a realistic goal. I struggle a lot with body image issue. No matter how much weight I lose I'll always look in the mirror and see myself as a fat girl. My stress with my roommate, classes, and weight have been causing me to breakout a lot, which is a real confidence booster, let me tell ya! I literally have no friends here. And I mean no one, and I sucks. Sure Lane is here, but he's way on the other side of the river and has already made new friends of his own. I am just thankful for my Thursday night runs with the running group. I HATE running on the treadmill, but I don't know Iowa City well enough to run the streets by myself. So, in the two times I've been to running group, I've felt pretty accomplished.

    Okay, truth time. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY miss weightlifting with everyone back home and Coach Yilek. He always pushed all of us to get stronger and reach our full potential. He could always make me laugh, and he was such a role model for me. I feel like that's one of the main reasons I've been so serious about working out in college, I don't want to let him down. I don't want to be a statistic. I want to decrease my body fat and get lean. I just wish I had him by my side every step of the way to push me that extra mile. I have a lot of days where I just wish I could talk to him, and have him tell me what I need to be doing differently to not be so fat. I know, I know you might not think I'm "fat" but I have a lot of excess skin and fat everywhere on my body and I'm sick of it. I want to be skinny mini. And the funny thing is Yilek has called me those exact words before, and honestly it just made me feel like such a fake. I'm not skinny, I am fat. I see it everyday when I workout, wear tighter clothing, and when I'm sitting alone everyday in the cafeteria. Nothing anybody says, is going to change the way I see myself. My loosing weight is the only way I will ever have any chance of being comfortable with my body. Oh, I really hope I can run 4 miles tomorrow. I'm going to try my hardest! I don't even care what the time is. I just want to be able to run 4 miles straight. I want to be fit and in shape so bad! I have been drinking like crazy and eating pretty well these last few days. I have one meatless day a week, and one cheat meal a week. I decided that I will weigh in every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. This way I'm not tempted to weigh every day, but can still monitor how I'm doing. Wow, this post is really long. And if anyone I knew read it they would think I'm crazy. But I'm not. I eat close to 1,500 calories a day and the most I workout for at a time is one hour. I'm just trying to get the body of my dreams. And lastly, my haters are my motivators, Oh and everyone back home motivates me to. I miss good Ole B.P. like crazy. I ran those streets, and hills so many times I know them like the back of my hand. But being here at college is a must, and so far I'm having more success with weight loss here than I ever did back home.

    Until Next time Fellow Bloggers! (I'll try to post at least one a week or every other week)
CaItLyN kItHcArT :)
Post Number 2 from the Currier ITC

Post Number 2 from the Currier ITC